Last week was a rough week emotionally. A lady in our church's adoption ministry just happen to send this post out to everyone in the adoption yahoo group. It really ministered to me, the message came at just the right time. It is a good read for anyone, not just those adopting :). I pray it blesses you as much as it blessed me.
If Something is Hard, Does That Mean We Should Not Pursue It?
Last week some friends of mine were presented with a potential adoption situation. I want to respect this family’s privacy so I will not be able to go into specific details. However, they have given me permission to share some concepts that came up in a conversation we had together. I hope and pray that this can be an encouragement to other families faced with similar circumstances and choices.
This family made a choice to accept a situation that may or may not result in a completed adoption. They have opened their hearts knowing full well that their hearts could be broken. Why would someone open themselves up for potential heartbreak and disappointment? Here is an excerpt from an email that I sent to them regarding the choice they made:
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Just because something is hard does not mean it is wrong and just because something is easy does not mean it is right. A lot of people in our culture do not seem to understand this concept. I think Christians can sometimes be the worst about this! This seems to be the attitude: "If it is not God's will then it will be really hard, but if it is God's will, things should just coast along very smoothly." In fact, it can be just the opposite. Scripture it is full of situations where the EASY THING was not the RIGHT THING, but the RIGHT THING was the HARDEST THING EVER!
I am not sure where we got this idea that if God is in it or if it is His will, things will just fall into place. I thought this way for many years. I am not sure that is correct all of the time. Here are a few examples out of the hundreds from Scripture: I think that it would have been much easier for Joseph to follow through with his original plan to "put Mary away quietly". But instead he and Mary had to do the hardest thing ever for them in their culture: they chose to stay in their hometown and raise a child that appeared to be "born out of wedlock". They made the choice to live in a small community of family, friends and neighbors where everyone knew everyone else. My guess is that not everyone in the community was accepting and supportive of their choice. I wonder how many times Mary and Joseph had to listen to “comments” or endure “looks”. Wouldn’t it have been so much easier to move to a place where no one knew them or their past?
What about the timeless story of Daniel or the three other Hebrew men in a foreign land? It would have been so much easier to just “go with the flow” and not “rock the boat”. After all, what would people think? They were faced with these choices on several occasions and still they did the hard thing—the right thing. They did not know that the outcome would be favorable for them.
I am certain that you know all of this, but sometimes it just helps to have someone affirm your convictions. I also say this because I do not want you to be surprised if everyone is not excited and supportive of your decision; this includes family members. Even church acquaintances and people who you think are friends may surprise you with their reaction and they may look at you like you are crazy: they may even say it out loud. This can be so hurtful and shocking. I hope it does not happen and I do not want to discourage you; however, do not be surprised. People usually do not congratulate you for making what seems to them like a really stupid decision or a big mistake. However, they are NOT your Holy Spirit!
May God bless you and your family for listening to His call! When you care for the fatherless—whether it is for a day, a week or for a lifetime—it is the RIGHT THING to do. I do not recall James 1:27, instructing us to take care of widows and orphans when it worked out to be convenient for us. We are just supposed to take care of them when they are in distress or in trouble.
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This is probably one of the most recognized verses about orphans and widows. I thought you might be interested to see what this verse says in a few different translations.
James 1:27 (New International Version)
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27 (New Living Translation)
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
James 1:27 (New King James Version)
Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.
The last part of this verse in the New Living Translation really jumped out at me. I wonder if this verse is affirming what I was talking about in my conversation with my friend. The world says, “Do what is easy and convenient. Go with the flow. Don’t waste your time.” God’s word says (my paraphrase), “Refuse to let the world corrupt you.” Is this telling us to do what is right no matter how hard it is and no matter what it looks like to everyone else? Do not let the culture and the common way of thinking corrupt you. Do the right thing!
There are many ways to do the right thing for orphans and widows. Maybe you need to look at ways you can support an adoptive or foster family. Maybe you should consider adopting. Maybe you need to become friends with a widow and encourage her. Maybe you need to give of your time or finances to help an orphanage. Prayer, emotional and financial support, volunteering, encouragement and serving those in need are just a few ideas. How is God leading you to do the right thing?